Tuesday, September 29, 2009

BLARGH

The honeymoon phase of being home alone is over. I seriously can't remember feeling more scattered, frenzied, discombobulated, (insert your own word here), than I have in the last couple of weeks...at least not since having a newborn.

The first two weeks or so were great - I was going to get so many things DONE! I was MOTIVATED! Clutter was going to get it's collective ass KICKED!

Sigh...

I think it's a combination of things...like how after all my recipe organization I found another stack of recipes (a small stack, but still), and how I've still got some to weed out of my fill-in cookbook, and some keepers to add to my fill-in cookbook...like how I thought I was doing so well with taking on the tubs of clothing, but I just got a bag full returned that adds to the pile waiting for E2 to grow-into, so clearly I need to be even more ruthless on what stays here...and the people in my home continue to want clean clothes and food to eat-so demanding.

I'm floundering, and oddly enough I think it's due to lack of a schedule. I've yet to figure out a good time to go help in the school library...I used to go smack in the middle of the school day, but this year the library is in use as a classroom during that hour...the time that works best for my partner-in-fighting-library-disorganization is the last hour of the school day - traditionally the time I would grant myself some "free" time to read, watch TV, or 'meditate' (a.k.a. doze-off in an upright position). When I help in the library during that last hour and then walk home with the girls I have no time to decompress, which I really like to have.

Meanwhile, my list of things I'd like to get done continues to grow...which adds to an overall feeling of 'I'm not getting enough done! panic!' and causes me to forgo that hour of 'free time' to try and get one more thing accomplished.

The one change I implemented that I enjoy is taking a morning walk. I'm not speed walking in any sense, but I'm up to 3 miles in about 40 minutes...

'U' loop through the cemetery.

...the downsides are that soon I will need to start overlapping my path because I'm running out of streets,

Sidewalk through the park.

...and walking after I drop off E3 at school causes me to feel like I'm delaying the start of my day and my morning is gone before I've gotten anything accomplished.

So, I'm working on mapping out a schedule for myself...hopefully some loose designations of 'start' and 'stop' will allow me to think I've got a handle on things.

2 comments:

Glenda said...

Good luck finding that balance you're looking for. I have days when I get So Much Stuff accomplished!! Then other days, bedtime rolls around and I feel like all I've managed to get done are meals, dirty dishes, and usually a load or two of laundry (none of which is all that massive for a family of three). I like working from a loose to-do list, but I don't have a problem setting it aside if I can tell my brain just isn't in the right frame of mind to do the "want to's" -- I've accepted that I'm going to kick butt for a couple days, then I'm going to have a couple days of . . . whatever the opposite of kicking-butt would be called ;-) . . . it ebbs and flows for me.

The one thing I thoroughly enjoy doing tho is going for a walk late afternoon with my guys -- even if I get nothing else (other than food, dishes, and laundry) done in a day, going for that walk makes me feel soooooo much better.

Julia said...

Why do changes have to be so hard?